Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Dating a tall girl

So here I am, online dating again. I'm feeling positive about the whole experience as I now know what I want and I am happy enough in myself to go and get it.

Being a tall woman of 6'1" there have always been perceptions both from others and myself of the acceptable height of a date. Sadly, society believes that the man in a relationship should be taller. This is something that has been bred into us, and a belief I am guilty of myself. I won't go into explicit detail (in case my mother reads this), but of the men I have *ehem* been with, only one has been taller than me.

I have had a strict rule about dating guys taller than me. My brain has been conditioned to discount the shorter men and only find taller men attractive. However, something deep within me has bent this rule on more than one occasion. Despite feeling that perhaps I am doing something wrong I will still fall for shorter guys. As a teen and young adult I was made to feel that shorter guys would be threatened by my height. To be honest, I probably had more of a connection on a personal level with short guys who were just one-nighters! Perhaps there were missed opportunities, but the choices I made have given me the outlook I have today.

I have researched average couple heights and apparently only 4% of women are taller than their men! However, it appears that there are quite a few celebrities who confidently shrug off the 'taboo' of a taller woman and crack on anyway: Tom and Nicole, Tom and Katie, Mick and L'Wren, Ethan and Uma. If it's good enough for them, why not me?

I found out last night that 'Peanut Butter Guy' (the man I've been chatting to online) is 5'11". We get on amazingly, we have a lot in common, he's very intelligent, good looking, lovely arms (they are), he loves animals, he is an incredible photographer, and yet two little inches made me stop and reconsider my efforts of getting to know him! It is such a shame that such a superficial thing would get in the way, and I am angry at myself for wanting to conform to societal beliefs that could result in a forcefield to my happiness. I am angry at myself, because when I jokingly (worryingly) asked him if he ever wore heels, rather than the response I was expecting: 'Shall we just call it a day?' instead, he sent me a photo of himself when he was younger in drag and said 'Funny you should ask....' He doesn't care how tall I am, so what am I worried about?

I think what us tall girls want is to not have to be the joker and 'one of the guys' just because you're the same height (or taller). We want to feel feminine just as much as the next girl and we need guys to not feel threatened or emasculated, and for them to feel secure enough in themselves to embrace our height. Upon meeting guys in a bar (for example) we regularly get the line, 'You're tall', to which my response is usually 'Too tall for you' or 'You're short/fat/bald/(insert other offensive comment). This puts an end to the conversation immediately. Wouldn't it be great if someone were not to mention the obvious at all? Maybe think outside the box (or stand on it) and say, 'Hey, you seem like a nice person. Can I buy you a drink?' Because, lets be honest, you wouldn't approach a girl you were seriously attracted to and expect a positive response from an opening line like, 'Your boobs are massive.' The only thing you would expect from a comment like that, is a slap.

dating a tall girl
Leggy in the middle


Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Adjö to the Swede

As of a couple of weeks ago it is the end of the 'Age of the Swede'. He'll be heading back to Sweden soon and it's the strangest break-up I've ever had. There were no angry words, no tears and no regrets. Last year was probably the most exciting and adventure-filled years of my life. I certainly don't deny that a lot of those times were because of him or his influence. This is just one of the great times at the wedding in the South of France: http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/raspberry-beret/

It would be great if all breakups could be like that. But I am starting to wonder if I'm a bit of a commitment-phobic. I start to get uneasy when I have too many things happening at in my life at the same time, and I try to change the only thing I have a direct influence over. However, the fact of the matter is that the Swede did not make life easier when life got challenging. Surely you would expect that support from your standard 'partnership' to some degree?

I've read up on my Chinese Horoscope for this year. It says I should expect career prosperity and love for 2014. So I'm being made redundant and I've joined Tinder. I'm hope this prediction will turn into more of a self-fulfilling prophecy as I venture out on the next steps of my career to something better and start dating again. I've already been chatting to someone brainy, creative, tall and good looking who I shall hereby refer to as 'Peanut Butter Guy'.

With the promise of new horizons, I promise to blog more often. But for now, it's on with my Open University assignment which is due in on the 17th March, and the planning of my son's 4th birthday party on Sunday. I barely have time to think!