Thursday, 24 April 2014

Mixed Signals from Peanut Butter Guy

As a fresh-faced 18 year-old I had the opportunity to go to Peru for the summer holidays with my college friends and an organisation which coordinates these types of trips. I spent any spare time I had raising the funds to go, but at about half way to my target I pulled out of the experience. It would have involved walking the Inca trail, white-water rafting as well as helping to decorate a school. I have always regretted my decision not to go, and sadly I put it down to bad judgement and a boy I was seeing at the time - a relationship which incidentally ended very badly. Ever since that day, I have always told myself never to let a boy get in the way of my dreams and aspirations. Yet, today, through the midst of trying to study I am procrastinating over a guy I've only been on one date with! Grrrr....girls and their over-thinking brains. Why couldn't I have been born a boy?

Peanut Butter Guy is the epitome of mixed signals. I wonder if, because now I am more open to something a bit serious, I've fabricated all these amazing times we'll have together in my head and my brain is starting to believe it's true. So now that I haven't heard from him for five days (apart from a couple of 'favourited' pictures on Instagram) I am literally climbing up the walls. FIVE DAYS I tell you. I'm a pretty laid back kind of person and I honestly thought I would be happy to take things in my stride, but one minute he calls me 'beautiful' and wants to know the inner workings of my brain and then the next minute he barely speaks to me. Don't even get me started on the fact we've not even been on date number two yet! It's true, I'm not in a rush. I'm busy with a degree assignment, a new job starting on the 6th May - which I'm very excited about - and my son is having a few behavioural issues at nursery again (I've signed him up for a martial arts class to help channel his anger), but not hearing from a guy for FIVE DAYS?? I think it's safe to say he's just not that into me.

I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I'll likely be single over the summer. I've got a couple of weddings to go to (solo) and a few trips here and there, so who knows what'll come of it? Being single I am absolutely OK with for now. What I don't agree with is the polar opposite signals some guys can give. I've made it clear that I'm interested. I'm too grown-up to mess about with silly games. If you like me, tell me. If not, jog on. I've got studying to do.

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